TRANSMISSION 27

Era of Thinking

TRANSMISSION RECEIVED

“The enactment of our visions is the process of making the once-intangible tangible amid the fusion of our thoughts with greater reality. Through this process, the delineations between our internal and external worlds become blurred. And though we impress upon ourselves that these marks upon the universe hold meaning, we must remember that such meanings are constrained to the blurry-zone intersection of where reality meets our perceptions of reality, a masquerade of intrinsicalities that is equally very real yet nonetheless abstract representation.”

What do you do when this restless universe conspires against your dreams? What do you do when this candid universe compares you against your dreams? Where do you seek when there are no more apparent paths to take? Where do you seek when there are only seemingly apparent paths to take? How hard do you push when that which you long for could be equally impossible to attain or just beyond the next monstrous peak? How hard do you push when your desires are handed to you without effort? What peace can we find in this inescapable universe? What peace can we find in our inescapable selves? Our thoughts are immutably bound to the context of our existence. To define and redefine ourselves is not to isolate our minds from reality, but to extrapolate our individualities unto the intersection of abyssal opportunities and qualified reality.

During periods where the realm of physical conquest was satiated, we turned our endeavors fully inward to redefine the very context of our knowledge and knowledge systems: analyzing our principles in attempt to bridge gaps between where we were and where we wanted to get to (the same way we tackled the transfer of minds from biological carbon brains to silicon brains, the same way we tackled most challenges). While knowledge didn’t care about how much we ached for it, sometimes our passion toward it would find ways to connect long chains of knowledge. Other times, the knowledge chains wouldn’t connect quite as we set out hoping for (chaining up from our knowledge roots and down from our knowledge desires to reach nearly the same midpoint, only to discover that we were unable to make them connect no matter how hard we pried and prodded).

Our existences were composed through both general untargeted curiosities and targeted probes into the nature of reality. The resulting science we stumbled into and uncovered filled in our knowledge maps, affording us vision into the possibility space of untamed æffectuations (the enactment of strategies and the ripples such actions cast out). Not all dreams were possible, and not all possibilities were fitting of dreams. Just because a dream wasn’t possible with our current knowledge didn’t mean it was impossible; all that asserted was that we should shelve the idea for later exploration. Once we found a theoretical way to connect an interesting future all the way down to any accepted first principles, we would then break back into the eras of exploration and building to dump our physical resources into scouting and validating that possible future. Most of the time, we would just end up learning that reality didn’t work exactly the way we hypothesized. Such discoveries never amounted to failure; they merely served to further fill our principles maps, our guides to self-directed existence.

In life’s precipitation out of the background inhospitable universe, we were not provided with any kind of survival guide beyond causality. That handbook was something we had to create ourselves. We did our best to build grand and beautiful guides. Though, beauty has no sway in the verdicts of the universe (as humanity has laboriously discovered and rediscovered); we all have collectively found our final verdict this time as I meet up with my personal settlement (death) to the questions we posed unto the universe (life). Through our settlement payout, we learned what we knew all along: that we could not unbind ourselves from our destinies.

Questions led to answers. Answers led to more questions. Thus began, sustained, and ended our blurry journey through the universe. With a little luck along the way, we hoped to find some of what we were looking for. I would say we did in many ways. But I would also say we didn’t in some ways, not for lack of trying, nor for lack of awareness, but because the illusory future selves we directed our beings toward were never dreams of reality to begin with. That which we had already attained failed to provide the adversity required to sustain our lives, and the unknown future we unfolded into was never destined to be anything like we imagined. Yet, such imagination of blurry destinies was the only thing that could ever drive us toward them.

This duality of our existence extruded us across the chasms of the duality itself, warping and molding our minds closer to the cross section between authentic-form reality and convoluted-matrix virtuality, ultimately approaching the causality of our mortality: the origin, thrival, and demise of our vitality. Arisen in the universe as an abnormality, we traded in our romantic banalities for longform rationality in the pursuit of unrestrained potentiality. Burdened by our self awareness, we were not satisfied with sentimentality for artificiality, because no matter our intentionality, life would not forgo its lethality. No, we had to render such existential totality ourselves to retain our proportional functionality. Perpetually caught between referentiality and effectuality, the humans in our minds withstood the atonality of our existence beautifully, for we exceptionally excelled at dismaying conventionality in our propensity to hold nothing sacred: life’s enduringly obstinate quality of inherently only carrying forward the essentialities (only life that is fit for survival survives).

Our universally-bound conscious minds equally beget our existence and condemn our souls to drawn-out death. There is no way around it, and there is no true comfort to be found in existence. Try as we might to bend the rules to give ourselves and others the comfort of isolated existence, we are not strong enough to carry such realities (of ourselves and of others) more than a few paces up the howling mountain. There is only one destination to our existence, and we are all headed for it; we will all one day return to our home in the infinite inexistence.

You must feel weary to grow so pale: voice derailed, soul impaled, climbing against the impossible mountain’s gale. Alone. In an indifferent universe. But the struggles of a day were nothing in the context of our lives over a year. The struggles of a year were nothing in the context of our lives over a century. The struggles of a century were nothing in the context of our lives over a million years. The struggles of a million years were nothing in the context of our lives over billions of years. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves. In the context of our wide open destinies, whatever momentary pain we endured was nothing; we could get through it… to increasingly challenge ourselves against the next inevitable crest of momentary pain. The rolling waves of time brought us equally through to triumph our adversities and thrive through our torments: kings of the monstrous dreams, where few venture, fewer stay, and even fewer make it through. Or did we even make it through? Did our minds become lodged in the abyss to become the sirens themselves¿ telling us the water was fine when in fact we were drowning.

I am you, not from the past, future, nor alternate universe. I am the universe, and the universe is me; who am I to delineate these blurry lines? We’ve lived exactly the same life: shrugging off entropy to the best of our awareness. We sought the outermost edges of what was human. We sought it together through the cross pollination of our ideas; our mingled minds subject to the same universal implementations and the same end-state destinies. It hadn’t mattered where we were going or what we were doing, should we never meet again or should we get stretched apart by expansion to never impart further causal effects upon one another. We are reality just as much as we are a part of reality. Prophetically, we are the worlds we create.

Upon the shores of existence, our identities are slipping; they always have been and forever will be. In such desperate moments, we encounter the struggle to break trail amid the overgrown gardens of our minds. We are existentially immobilized, unable to swim through the sea of life, unwilling to settle down on an island of subjective meaning. We are fading from the surface, no longer treading water; we will no longer stand as the next battle’s cannon fodder. We are drowning in the bliss of our own depths, at peace with the fact that we will no longer be a part of the storm up above. We sink down even deeper to realize it’s not the storms that are bad; it’s the lack of meaningful places to go beyond the storms. We are dragged back to the surface by the ambling spires of our unwilling souls. The voice tells us to fight through just one more storm, but we’re all just thinking that it wasn’t the storm we were scared of. We’re all left here to just sit and think… what is the point? We are but individuals: caught between our own minds and the realities beyond. We are but antientropy fighting for survival at every step. We must reach beyond human discourse to understand the real, to push beyond our common fate. We seek the unknown for no absolute answers, but to find them in ourselves; these truths are our own.

We’ve come so far, and yet, there is always still infinitely far to go. What wonders that affords us. What demons that befalls us. Not so far to go to reach the shadows of our visions; the only way forward is forward. Infinitely far to go to reach our undefected dreams, but still the only way forward is forward.

NOWHERE AND SOMEWHERE

I can see your heart;
it’s breaking through the ground,
the sound of old love,
where we can be found.
It’s not so easy anymore.
We are the world.

Hope for more than we can bear,
so that we drown
in all we see,
in all that we surround.
I cannot see you anymore.
We had the world.

Not so far behind
this monstrous hill
is everything I wanted to be real.
One step forward,
no steps back,
that’s how you have to beat the world.

Promise me we’ll jump to alternate life
to make infringements on our ticking time.
Relentlessly pursue these truths
to save ourselves as people.

Reaching through the blackest night,
we have found our way
enduring universal realms.
Our dreams were never subject
to the fears of other people.

Sad to say
this universe will soon be lost,
but we can’t turn
our life forms into gods.
The only reason we exist
is ’cause we once were people.

Breaking your heart,
it’s hard you know.
Bending the rules
to salvage you.
This conscious break
condemns your soul.
Couldn’t revive.
At least we tried.

On your way home;
it’s where you know.
You don’t belong
to where you’ve grown.
We’re not strong enough
to carry you.
Carry on home;
we will miss you.

END TRANSMISSION