TRANSMISSION 29

This Meaningful Meaningless Existence

TRANSMISSION RECEIVED

“Destiny tells us darkness will inevitably lay reclaim to this existence, extinguishing true radiations and illusory dreamings alike. Reality tells us the darkness is already here (that it never left), meticulously resolving our imperfect creations toward impermanence. Despite our deepest struggling endeavors, at best, our brightest thoughts only reach tangential to true truth, for constructs are necessarily incapable of capturing the full meaning of anything but higher-level constructs. Thus, our meanings hang in the balance somewhere between the blinding lights that drive our ignorant odysseys (our most endeared constructs) and the deafening darks that sap our souls (the empty unknowns we enter by disrobing of constructs to then gain new truths that we bring back to build our construct spaces more tangentially to truth).”

In the prospect of humanity’s death, in the loss of our carried meanings, we will soon enough find ourselves submerged into a meaningless existence. Or rather, once I die, no one will find themselves amid the meaningless. So really, reality will soon enough find itself cast yet again into the meaningless existence of absent thought: unable to assign meaning, simply existing. At least, such appears to be the future once I am no longer around; if we have concluded that meaning is a contrived sentiment, then inherently, something must be around to contrive of it. But will it really be much different from when we existed?

We’ve gazed toward the end of everything for our entire lives, prying our minds into the great chasms beyond our personal horizons, asking ourselves whether the meanings we found along our journeys have been worth it. What traction had we claimed through these quests we wagered our lives upon? What significances did we clinch in prospecting out our indefinite lives? Did our endurance through existence reach any satisfactory payouts?

There was always only meaninglessness available in reaching the end of any meaningless journey; simply pushing through to the end could never fool reality into projecting otherwise. We found meaninglessness at every step. Every rock we overturned along our trek held just as much meaninglessness as the previous. So when we set out to uncover reality beyond Earth, most of us consciously aimed to not be so foolish to think our expeditions would hold any absolute meaning. That didn’t stop the illusionary comfort of objective meaning from seducing us. That didn’t stop some of us from starting weary (or growing weary) to then find ourselves jumping toward such comforts.

We discovered conclusively that meaning is not an inherent (nor achievable) property of the universe; the universe is just a set of rules filled with transmuting energy. But rather than surrender to the meaninglessness, we invested our endeavors into the meanings we could contrive that were closest to the true reality we observed. As living entities, we found enough meaning in the act of survival, in the pursuit of opportunities, and in the craving to understand how reality operated and how we could affect it. We took it upon ourselves to bring about the most interesting of futures by organizing matter and energy into exciting configurations, mostly as the configurations we identified as ourselves.

Meaning had only ever been a temporary and subjective state produced by self-aware beings. And if we exist and we are real, does that make our meanings real? And if so, does that mean the only things with real, meaningful opportunities were the self-aware beings? For something as small as the very presence of that question, many of us found ourselves massively endeared toward the preservation of life. But such a bold endeavor is easier said than done; holding that vision as a more real internal motivator for self preservation was unfortunately magnitudes harder than holding it as an illusory external motivator for preserving life beyond oneself. The most ironic part about it is that to effect change toward one’s external motivations, one has to be alive, so if such external motivations were pure, then they would be secondary to the internal motivations of self preservation.

Our collective motivation started as a bright star when we left Earth, but in due time, the brightness inevitably faded into the ether as individual collaborators on the journey lost their grip of that which once gave them hope. And while it wasn’t ever possible to force anyone else to see something we personally saw, we still always hoped that the lost would rediscover their way. Though, I suppose many of them hadn’t fully found their way in the first place. For those of us who did not feel as lost, we felt we owed it to ourselves to relentlessly pursue the indefinite survival of life. So we set out to deliberately subvert our own expectations in shadowing greater truths beyond our illusions.

If there is somehow anyone still out there, and if you are miraculously able to hear me, I beg of you to never give up. I will not give up, for there could exist the chance that I find a way out… somewhere beyond this doomed prison I am contained to in body, in mind, in galaxy, in universe. Hopefully through these transmissions I’ve been able to paint a picture of how much we create our own meaning for ourselves, and how much that means to us all. I wanted to ask you at the start of the journey to focus on that, but I was afraid you wouldn’t fully understand the meaning I was trying to convey.

So just as I sit here reflecting on my story, I ask you to reflect on yours. I want you to find yourself within the meaning(lessness) of existence. I want you to squeeze out the parts you most crave to understand. I want you to fall victim to the inner wonder of exploring life without the arbitrary constructs you’ve come to operate within, whatever constructs you unquestioningly took as truth. Step back… farther back in the physicality of this universe and our motions within it. But you’ll notice that within the constraints of our physicality, there is no “back” to step into where we can take in more; there is only outward in space and onward in time. And in that, remember we are unconditionally subjective construct creators incapable of fully emulating any lower-level constructs or realities.

Step back… further back to uncover the deeper meanings your past frameworks relegated to the domain of passing thoughts. You won’t see it right away; it’s a journey, a never ending journey. Release yourself from the constraining allegorical caverns contained within your very mind to find freedom of thought. There’s a whole other world inside each of our minds begging to be let out, just as there’s a whole canvas of worlds beyond ourselves begging to be let in. Never take any construct for face value as your life continues thinking about why, what, and how everything is. Never stop questioning, and you’ll get somewhere eventually; I promise. I did; we did. If you’ve made it this far to hear my transmissions, then you likely already have as well. And though I can’t tell you where you’ll get to, I know you can find it for yourself. Each journey is unique, as we’re all subjective beings with the magical ability to transcend beyond simply searching for external meanings to instead genuinely create meaning in an inherently meaningless existence. That’s powerful. That’s meaningful to me. And for that, you are meaningful to me. But far beyond that, inherently as life, you are meaningful; you carry meaning. Don’t let that flame extinguish for nothing.

THE DARKEST GLEAMING UNIVERSE

I am the darkness that you fear.
I am a whisper in your ear.
I am crawling under your skin
making you feel afraid again.

I am a torment lost in you,
trying to leave, but you won’t move.
I have invaded all your thoughts
just to set you alive again.

I know you’re scared. I am aware
that you are not so fond of me.
To see yourself beyond the mirror,
you will have to brave the deep.

I am the blackest of the dark,
reaching straight in to pluck your heart.
I am aware you’re poised to fall,
but I am illusion after all.

Figments of realness in you;
real is all that I can’t do.
Constructs of me build up so high,
if you believe that I am you.

From what I’ve seen,
this universe is gleaming
(what I have found
while seeking truths in nothing).
From what I’ve heard,
this consciousness is deadly:
what I perceive
as being bound to a body.

From what I know,
I know that we know something.
What I still doubt
is whether we can hold out.
From what I sense
to be our fall,
we’ll make it after all.

It’s not too cold,
this universe we call home.
What lies in wait for us to slip,
it’s deadly.
It’s not too bad,
this universe that we have.
This entropy is tearing
down at my being.

It’s not too far,
this universe; it’s in us.
Just one way out:
these crazy plans of dreamers.
It’s not too plain,
this universe contains us.
Imagine more:
the outer space,
no limits.

It’s not a thought;
this universe is gleaming after all.

END TRANSMISSION