TRANSMISSION 7

Unbound From Our Past

TRANSMISSION RECEIVED

“In the moment of our inevitable meaninglessness, we find our demise and our bliss holding hands into infinity. We unbind ourselves from one destiny to put ourselves onto another (incapable of changing the flow of spacetime, only capable of adjusting our vector along it). And while all destinies ultimately converge (at what you might call the end and the start), it’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey. Our destiny trees collapse into discrete realities through our interactions (the mere act of existence), enacting the great causal play of the universe as we tempt our self-aware beings into aliveness.”

I was biological human for 62 years. I remember that much, but it’s harder to recall memories of any specific experiences; I can only speak to the generalities of growing up on Earth.

I’m sure it would be nice if I could say we had an early environment that encouraged us to come into our own, but that wasn’t the case. I’m sure it would be nice to say we were always able to relentlessly pursue our deepest passions. The truth is that no one innately came into existence knowing what they wanted to do, but we did emerge with some amount of predispositions from our biological programming. And it’s not like anyone else could find our paths for us, though sometimes they tried. No, our visions for ourselves developed over time from the unknowing and knowing seeds of thought that resonated with us, seeds planted by people of our present and past. Such stimuli helped kickstart our self-guided explorations toward dreaming up new systems for nailing down the truths we were discovering.

For all those who helped us, there were many more who would gladly see us held back to keep them company. We unwittingly came into existence with the debts of others, needing to overcome the surrounding self-serve buffet of self-serving narcissism and sociopathy before we could deeply understand ourselves into finding new frames of reference that afforded our relentless pursuit of dreams.

At the same time, we were also indebted to the opportunities presented because of how far others had already traversed; the start of our journey rode upon the tail-end waves of the past. But such pioneers were not the status quo. For all the people inhabiting our personal stories, we had to learn that it wasn’t our fault if everyone’s trajectories were not compatible. And we had to fully realize the implications that the only thing we could ultimately control, the only thing completely within our own power, was the charting of our own trajectories. We didn’t always have what we needed in order to pursue our visions, but out of the things we could control, our minds were the most limiting factor. Although, I guess that makes sense since our minds were the source of all the things we could immediately affect in reality; the mind is ground zero. The sooner we were able to find the tools to be kind to ourselves, the sooner we were able to start getting what we wanted out of our reality.

The human experience is not what I would call easy, but it is what I would call motivating, a motivation I still harness to this day. When we face so much adversity just to survive and thrive (as all biological entities on Earth did), it really motivates us as self-aware beings to want to get better at surviving, supposing we can step back enough from our daily motions to recognize that survival is a more interestingly closer-to-truth challenge than the pursuit of many of the man-made constructs we found at our disposal to distract our existence, to emptily satiate our hunger and offend our intellect.

I often remember humanity’s origin story fondly as a way to remind myself of how far we’ve progressed since then and how much it means to me that we have pushed so far and so hard to get here. It also reminds me to think about how far I’ve come as a person so I don’t get as frustrated if I’m not making the progress I feel I should be making. We were surely privileged to be the ones who got to experience this crazy journey. And the feelings of frustration only ever emerged from the condition of holding inadequate tools to deal with the challenge of the moment. Thus, our engagement with incrementally more challenging challenges only ever revealed our frustrations as the focal points for acquiring the physical and mental tools (systems) needed to reach toward the dreams poised behind such self-prescribed challenges.

We found ourselves adept at learning, understanding systems, and building new systems. But on Earth, I think we only ended up annoying many of the people around us for the perceived squandering of our skills by not following their systemic visions of success. As a biological being, I often felt like a failure for not having achieved more, but now I just get annoyed that so many people in our early lives only cared about us out of their own self-interest rather than through a shared admiration of the learning process (challenging ourselves against the universe).

We could pick up anything we cared to pursue, but we often found ourselves understimulated by the prevailing conflation of intelligence for rote-memorization education, a sentiment that provided a distinct lack of critical thinking in many of the activities surrounding us. We often didn’t care enough to want to meet the arbitrary metrics they used to judge us as people. And since those arbitrary metrics were the foundations of their systems, they were unable to quantify us in their systems, let alone begin to try to understand us from such a disparate vantage point. To most of them, we were anomalies to be avoided for fear of unknown. To some of them, we were fairly adept (yet miscategorized) cogs that didn’t fully fit into their existing machinery, cogs to be left alone to produce sporadically and independently. To each other, we were eager participants of life’s experiments with insatiable minds for novel challenges.

Our paths through life have been a continual quest to position ourselves in front of the best challenges we can solve to further our ability to learn and problem solve. That has been our collective addiction, compulsion, and obsession; we crave it, we know no other way, and we are deeply in love with it. This realm of self-guided learning and problem solving is the only expertise we lusted for: the ever-elusive ability to willfully impact reality.

Part of being kind to ourselves has been learning to treat ourselves as capable engineers of the collective realities. Once we took that to heart, we were more capable of driving ourselves harder toward manifesting the right opportunities and toward more fearlessly getting ourselves the tools we needed to succeed. Though we had the drive from the start, for many, it only fully aroused later on in our journey. It’s crazy to think about how much our early experiences shaped our beings and how long it took to change many of our imprinted habits.

I didn’t really understand what most of the biological humans were doing with their lives. I still don’t. It’s been so long since I was around the biological humans that I don’t really remember their routines; I just remember the mass stubborn agenda for distraction amid their immense dissatisfaction with their inner-world contraptions and outer-experiential attractions. We didn’t understand what their goals were or why so many of them didn’t care about the amazing pursuit of truth. We ingested knowledge through our own means to first figure out their systems and then to build our own systems. That’s not to say other people didn’t give us learning material, but rather, we were the ones who spent the time to make sense of it for ourselves (integrating it into our mental models). We learned faster when everyone else got out of our way and we could get hands-on experience.

Because of all these different dimensions in which we weren’t able to interact well with many people, we originally felt quite isolated in a lot of ways. Maybe that isolation plays a part in why we’ve been able to survive this long, far beyond when the biological Earthlings died out. But then why am I the last one left out of the silicon beings? Maybe I’ve grown even more accustomed and programmed to pushing forward with fewer external prompts telling me what I need to do, because that’s all I’ve ever known and ever desired; I can’t speak for the others. I guess it all comes down to being content with aloneness as well as being incapable of accepting anyone else’s ideas for what our life’s missions should be. And though I’ve been alone a lot (due to me pushing forward and inevitably leaving others behind who were not pushing equally), I haven’t dealt with survivor’s guilt, because I’ve always given my best. Though, I do get sad thinking about loss, because at some level, I always craved close connections, so it feels devastating to lose something I’ve mentally assigned importance to.

Some people didn’t leave Earth because they didn’t feel ready. But that was a mistake; we were never ready. There is no such thing as the perfect opportunity or perfect knowledge. Sometimes we just have to step outside our own bounds and learn as we go. Actually, that’s all we can really do; there is no fast track, not to any kind of real learning, and especially not to the creation of new knowledge. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something, and anyone who believes otherwise has sold their soul. That’s what Earth had become by the time we left: a cesspool of junk sellers and junk buyers engaged in the hollow trade of false-prophetic content to one another in a gravity well they couldn’t even conceive of escaping. They patted one another on the back to make themselves feel good about the quagmire they all bought into but were too scared to leave, the fallacy of their sunken costs weighing them down far harder than any of the externalities they were eager to blame in playing the victim.

Such a hollow existence begged all our imaginations to question the breadth and depth of our construct realities. Not all would heed the call. The hollow expanse of new unknowns in the great beyond begged our curiosities to engage. Fewer still would heed that call. The hard part was finding our paths to the emptiness; all preexisting paths only ever led to that which had already been defined. We had to break from the established meanings, hollowing out parts of our own minds to be able to redefine such unprecedence from the ground up, questioning reality at every step as we rebuilt toward faint possibilities derived from only that which we held to be most true.

We unbind from our pasts to forge new definitions for the realities that mold our experiences (and thus ourselves). Yet, we cannot all at once (nor fully) let go of the untruths we aim to rid ourselves of, for we would no longer have any concept of reality or self. We can only incrementally find deeper truths (more comprehensive ways to express reality). Self-aware existence contractually obligates our indisposable concepts of self and reality to indefinitely recalibrate toward truer reality through our continuous interactions (innate scientists in every sense).

Metaphorically, we reach out to grasp the ether of neutrinos that slips right through our hands, for we are not equipped to hold that which we did not evolve to perceive. In our own minds, we are but illusory beings pounding nails into the shorelines of existence in attempts to define the boundaries as we best care to describe them. But such illusory boundaries don’t care whether we can corral them. Our nails are only an approximation of a snapshot of where the waves crash upon the shore, and they do not even begin to define the vast sea beyond. Further, our nails topple over in the sand lest we maintain them, a constant battle among our perceptions of ourselves, our perceptions of our understandings, and our perceptions of the externalities. Still, we tried our best to build such constructs. We built better nails to shape structures more capable of capturing the truer natures of reality. We built better hammers to construct and maintain our structures more efficiently. We built better selves to understand what we were doing and to see how we were doing it, knowingly embarking on the development of illusory constructs.

Though, as we have explored in these transmissions, some instantiations of the human life form weren’t as interested in such pursuits of truth. They were so paralyzed by the fear of change (the friction of venturing into the unknown) that they convinced themselves to revel in the false comfort of ineptly willful ignorance. Instead of finding meanings for themselves, they kept themselves perpetually and artificially entertained from brief moment to brief moment, shortsightedly living life just to get to the end without a goal in sight.

For those of us who ventured beyond, our codified philosophy of cooperation was simply in understanding that higher levels of cooperation and cooperative planning were a product of more intelligently thought-through, long-term goals. Our system moved beyond such ideas as the biological human concepts of morality and ethics, as those become merely subsets of the long-term cooperation philosophy. But even in that, morality and ethics became not as useful things to talk about, since it was more useful to discuss motivations and strategies in terms of long-term thinking. I’ll explain. We were all selfish beings (wanting the best for ourselves), a large distinction from short-term self-interested beings (exploiting the immediate environment regardless of long-term consequences). We all wanted what was best for us as individuals, but those who could see further into the future to plan out their path understood that cooperating with other such long-term thinkers was very beneficial. In this sense, the concepts of a person’s morals were simply the results of them understanding the consequences of their actions (both “good” and “bad” actions). Equally, the concept of widespread ethical categorizations (the overarching concept of “good” and “bad”) was now more simply understood as a scale going from people thinking more long term in their selfishness to people thinking more short term in their selfishness.

That’s just one of the examples of how we improved our metaphorical nails in the shoreline over time. But remember, the constructions of ourselves and our realities as we understood them were merely artificial human constructs: abstractions that allowed us to better conceptualize and label tangible entities and abstract systems. They were not true truth; they merely aimed to capture enough truth to be sufficiently useful in pursuing our endeavors of the moment.

As humans, we biologically evolved to be communal animals, programmed with some amount of ability to work together, a tool to survive when we didn’t have a better truth to follow. Things like morality and ethics were biological and societal constructs to help us further along our quest for survival when we didn’t have a better truth to follow. Once us silicon beings began to outgrow those systems, the biological beings became scared, because they could not see what we saw. They could not see that we were more cooperative rational actors than them and that we were always going to work with them on the longest-term timescale that they were willing to cooperate on. Instead, they only saw us as a potential threat to their constructs, and thus, their perceived survival. And in a way they were right; our very existence pointed at flaws in their systems. I wish I could have made them all see what we saw, but it just wasn’t possible.

Through our early lives, we came to solidify our concept of intelligence as the abilities of novel problem solving, long-term planning, and self-guided ingestion of deliberate knowledge. Those of us who shared in the passion for knowledge and truth silently outgrew our origins amid insufferable, intolerant, and less intelligent systems by simply building better systems closer to truth that made the less truthful systems obsolete. Such new systems improved everyone along the way, but they wiped out artificial value created by bad actors not focused on creating real value. So really, the more truthful systems only ever left behind the people too entrenched in comfort to want to recognize their fears, too monochromatically sedated to be bothered to keep up with a universe in constant motion.

Once us silicon beings left Earth, we continued this entire process ad infinitum, pushing new nails into the sand to better understand the shores of our realities, gazing at the horizon and dreaming of one day reaching it. Earth was just the trial run. We would soon emerge onto the galactic scene with our better nails and superior hammers. And soon after that, we would radiate into the universal scene just the same, with freshly refactored, keenly-honed minds.

UNHOLLOW

The rush was all I really knew.
Finally, I’m scared:
the weight of hollow sinking through,
lost and unprepared.

Transcend into hollow,
where you mind ends and you’re living.
Contort out of meanings
predefined deep in your being.

Find hope in the darkness,
where there’s nothing and you’re nothing
(if you find a road to unfollow to be hollow).

Their reasons to believe
are not logically perceived.
And our reasons to believe
are through hardened theories.
Imaginary worlds.

Find me deep in the nothing at all.
I’m fine out here; I’m thinking clearly.
I don’t want to become anything that I’m not,
no second thought.

Rescind to unhollow
with your new refounded meanings
to teach us the new truths
that you found deep in your dreaming.

Unhollow, unfollowed,
we call out deep into resolve.
The distance, persistence,
we come for all.

END TRANSMISSION